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I have this bossy spirit that I think I need to use on the Littles whenever I can, which is not a good thing. If I don't get rid of this bad habit of bossing them around, I will have it when I have my own family, and will be bossy to my children, and they will be bossy to their siblings. And I don't want to be bossy, and I don't want my children to be bossy.

Another thing I hate being told to do is the dishes. Who wouldn't? Jocelyn used to be the one who did most of the work around here, the cooking, cleaning, ect. Now it's the three of us girls who do it, and we do it together. I have to do dishes at 1pm, Jocelyn does them at 4pm, and Amanda, if she doesn't make dinner, does the dinner dishes.

Now every time I go to do the dishes, and I have already done them, I get upset. I feel like I do all the work, and no one else does anything. But I know in my heart that is not true at all. When I get upset about doing the dishes, I say to myself, "I am not doing this because I am cleaning my house, and doing my dishes, I am doing it because I am cleaning the Lord's house, and doing His dishes." When I say this to myself, the madness that was there starts to melt away, and I become cheerful. Can you believe that just thinking that you are cleaning the Lord's house, and doing His dishes, can make you so cheerful? I want to have this attitude all the time, and if I can think about it when I am doing the dishes, then I can do everything with a cheerful attitude.

I do the dishes everyday. Amanda, Jocelyn, and I, one of us makes dinner everyday. It's not something that we really want to do, but is a necessity to do, and so we do it. Now grant it, we should really want to serve our family and make dinner, but it's a part of human nature to dislike work. Yes, it is work to make dinner, but I hope it's work I come to love because for the first 10years of my married life, I will not have girls to do it for me. I will be doing the cooking and the cleaning, except for what my husband will be making for me on occasions.

It will be my job to keep my home clean, make sure there is food on the table, ready to eat when my husband comes home from a long day at work, respect my husband and do what he tells me, and help my husband raise our children in a Godly manner.

Letting anger rise comes to...what becomes of it? This:

There was cat outside a few nights ago, and Mom took a spray bottle and sprayed it 'til it went into the cornfield. It came back a few daya back in the afternoon when the Littles and I were outside on the swingset playing. Eric ran in and got the spray bottles to chase it off. Once we did that, Eric sprayed me, and in turn, I sprayed him back. Then we were running after each with spray bottles. Amanda called us in to the house. Eric and I got in trouble for having Mom's new spray bottles outside, playing with them.

Immediately, I got mad for being in trouble and blamed Eric for getting us in trouble. I reasoned with myself for being mad, "Well, if he hadn't sprayed me in the first place, then we wouldn't be here right now." But then, when we were sentenced to clean the porch together, I got even more mad at him for just going out there and sitting down on the Little's bench. I kept telling him to get up and help me. Another instance where I was bossy. I cleaned almost the whole porch when he finally got up from sitting.

I felt the anger in me rising again when I realized that he had not helped me at all. The thought of, "I'm cleaning the Lord's porch with an angel, instead of Eric," came back to me and the anger resided. Thus I was cheerful again and hurried to finish cleaning the porch. I resumed talking to him, which I had not done the for twenty minutes.

So you see what anger can do to your actions if you don't have control of your anger? I have learned the hard way many times about my anger. If I am too bold when talking to Mom, then I usually get grounded from blogging. I am truly trying to work on holding back my anger and tongue, but it's hard when you've trained yourself in that manner to suddenly stop being angry. I hope you enjoyed this post...it's a confession from my heart...

Rachel

Please stop over at my homeschool blog, the Milk and Honey Tea House.

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